u should read this.

Certain things have been hovering my mind.maybe some new things have been changing the perception and the way of my thought and my belief.I realize that sometimes I have a negative behavior, but it taught me lot in my life.From childhood, I have been educated with sense of relentless, at the young ,mothers often advised me not to believe people easily.In the romance, mother stressed that do not love men wholeheartedly, but I did not understand why.But when I grow the more I understand what is mother is trying to convey.One of my bestfriend,Mr Khaled once told me,i should try to understand why people take love problem as one of the major problem,that is one of my biggest mistakes.i hardly understand why people should exaggerate things.maybe u have the wrong idea that i have never been dumped before,haha hot la saya nih!oh tidak,u really dont have any idea what ive been thru in my past relation,i should say proudly no one can even beat me,seriously without crossing my finger,aha!It's like a horrible,worst nightmare and i really dont want to remember dt memory,that is why none of my friend know about it,.i waste my day with tears and luckily it didnt last long because i know why should i cried for a guy that dumped me,durh!when parents get angry,do we cry?guilty?or buying gift,spend money as a symbolic of apology like we did to our partner?hardly no kn?I realized that my love partner is not the one who gave birth,raise us up,so no thanks to bf,sorry que but thanks,u know me well and that is why my forces of attraction towards u getting slowly stronger.and i believe dat is one of the reason why people keep on askin if im still standing with u,yes because we never put a picture of ourselves getiing married in how many fucking years.haha!pentist dgn underwear pn mak beli,ni nk pikir nikah pulak ;)!gatai!ok lets start it with mr. hasiib and mr.kaled have been my shoulder to cry on but i guess i only lean to their shoulder for few times,maybe 3times and i still remember the 1st time i cried infront of u guys,aha mengada!i dont know how to express my sadness because since i was kid my parents taught me that crying is not a solution.sometimes,when anger cover my feelings,i will depend to them by sending short messages like'aku sedihla,mcm cibai'dats it,then they will call and ask me and i will turn the anger into something that is funny and something that is wasteful to think,the conversation almost looks like'kao pahal do sedih?'and i will go like'aku sedih,wey kao buat ap n bla..bla..n hahahaah!'.why should we be so emotionally,oh-so-called-women-heart?haha!i dont know if u get the picture of my belief that im being too harsh but that is me,so dont bother or feel frustrated if i motivate in my own way,saya tk sengaja,im used to it.One of my greatest teacher that is my mom once told me,"open up ur heart while u're young if u love ur partner",and it is so true,thanks mom.same like one of my english lecturer said,pn nora,open up ur heart,u're still young.yah,sometimes people take things so hard and not thinking of the solutions but likely to think crying over is the most effective way,i remember that one of my trainers when im in sarawak ask me,why he never see my cried and i asked him back,why should I, I have a perfect life that others dont have a chance to have.Crying is good as a way to make our heart relief but crying all da time,err is not a good idea ;)

menangis mengingatkan mati,pahala akan bertambah .